Friday NewZ & FunnieZ

Vol. 106 Told ya'll I was gonna bump like this

It’s Friday. You’re busy. I’m crazy. And we’re all ready for a weekend. Or if you’re a parent, it’s time to go to your other job on a field or mat or park somewhere. Pro-tip: Don’t forget to wash the uniform. Closing out this hot-ass July week with a quick bit of newZ nuggets and some funnieZ as a chaser. 

Whatddya say we we keep these good vibes going! 

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NewZ

• Amid some wine-y drama in Brad and Angelina’s lawsuit, wine brand Chateau Miraval tells Brad Pitt to stay in his lane. “Pitt is an actor, not a winemaker,” it scoffs. “He deals in illusions, not dirt and grapes.” Shots fired, Monsieur. 

• It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia actor Rob McElhenney says he was recently diagnosed with neurodevelopmental disorders and learning disabilities. “At 46!” *How many of you are now making an appointment to see psychiatrist?* 

• Speaking of actors learning something new, the Screen Actors Guild has joined the picket line, essentially bringing Hollywood to a full stop and making it the first time since 1960 that SAG and WAG have been on strike simultaneously. Just in time for… 

• 75th Annual Primetime Emmy nominations rolled out this week. Among the notable candidates was Vanderpump Rules, which was nominated for Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program. And really how else is there to enjoy reality but unstructured, hmmm? 

• Oh you want more?? I’ll give you more! Obviously there are more than these, but these are the only ones anyone will care about and now you can speak intelligently about them. Did I copy and paste these from a Google doc because Substack’s formatting is atrocious? Why, I did! You’re so welcome.

• 75th Annual Primetime Emmy Nominations:

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FunnieZ

It’s time.

Now get back to work! Or don’t. It’s Friday. Have the best weekend!