All New ABZs: Pitch Perfect - Plus NewZ & FunnieZ

Vol. 64 and here for more!

Jan 20, 2023

∙ Paid

What a week! We made it to Friday, friendZ. I’m wrapping up most up of my January assignments over the next few days, so I’ve been head-down in writing mode all week long. Speaking of which, if you have any last pitches, send them my way! You can check out what I’m working on here. I could really use your help still!

Closing out the week here on the trusty Substack, I’ve got a short newZ roundup along with ABZs as promised. On the heels of my latest assignments, I’ve been pitched left and right, and today I’m diving into the art of perfect the pitch from a writer’s perspective. While you might have your brand/product elevator speech mapped out, today I’m going to give you a little inside look at how writers and editors use the pitches they get to build content. It’s a paid edition, so if you’re not a paying subscriber yet, get on that!

And OF COURSE I’ve dropped some funnieZ to start your weekend off in the right frame of mind.

Ready? Let’s go!

NewZ

That 90s Show debuted on Netflix this week. I’m not sure how to explain this math but That 70s Show debuted in 1998 and was set in 1976, which we can all agree was a massive and generationally dividing 22-year difference. That 90s Show is set in 1995, which the numbers tell me was 28 years ago but honestly the 90s JUST FKNG HAPPENED sooo?!? I am unwell.
More 90s stuff! It’s a theme. And you know what else it is? It’s allll that… This is alllll thaaat. The cast of All That will reunite for 90s Con this March. Amanda Bynes will join Lori Beth Denberg, Danny Tamberelli and Kel Mitchell at the weekend-long event March 17-19 in Hartford, Connecticut. Who’s coming with me?
We have a name! Chrissy Teigen and John Legend shared the first photos of their new baby yesterday, along with her name. Baby Esti Maxine joins siblings Luna Simone and Miles Theodore as the 5th member of the family.

FunnieZ

The best jokes on the internet this week.

Paul Jackson @madebymagnolia

So this is how I learned my work calendar wasn’t private.

JP @jpbrammer

a corporate phrase I dislike is “just to piggyback off what you said…” Get off me

Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw

(completely overwhelmed) will do!

NicholasG @Dad_At_Law

One day when you’re a kid they take recess away from you and life pretty much takes a long and gradual turn for the worse from there.

Ally Maynard @missmayn

my theory is suburbanites fucking love Disney World because it’s their chance to to enjoy walkable dining and entertainment experiences with convenient mass transit without having to see homeless people.

Lance🇱🇨 @BornAKang

Kangaroos are unreal animals lmaoo

ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl

I would love to go to sleep but I simply CANNOT until I figure out if this girl I barely know got divorced or not

rax ‘leads with her crotch’ king @RaxKingIsDead

do different cultures tend to anthropomorphize animals in the same ways? are owls always wise or is there a society where they’re the fuckup party boy types

ABZs: Pitch Perfect

Affiliate Marketing & The Dynamics of Pitching

As you hopefully already know, content and commerce are inextricably linked. And hey, if you don’t already know, no judgment here! I’d recommend looking at my Affiliate Marketing 101 post here and maybe dig through the archives while you’re at it. As a paid subscriber, you have access to it all! You can also ask me anything in the comments!

Not a paid subscriber yet? Today I’m diving into the art of the pitch and why it’s so important. If this sounds like a topic that might be of interest, today’s a great day to become one!