All about the FunnieZ

Vol. 66: Because it's Friday

HelloZ

It’s almost the weekend. It’s like, almost here!

I always laugh when I’m in a [Zoom] meeting with someone young(er than me by a lot) and they tell me to have a great weekend. Honey, my weekends were great when I was strutting around in all my youthful pizazz, unfazed by walking to the bar without a jacket in 30F weather, eating hot pizza at 3am and the same cold leftover pizza at noon. You know? Now, it’s my week that’s actually better since I’m left alone to my work, the peace of stress (you know what I’m talking about), and meal planning. But yessssssssssssss bishhh, have a great weekend!!

I kid. I’m really looking forward to this weekend because I’m having a dinner party for my girlfriends and their husbands. Being an insane Jewish mom, I’m of the mindset that I can never have enough food to feed people and therefore am obviously stressing about that. Follow my cooking adventures on my Insta, where - in addition to sharing funny memes and videos - I also often share recipes.

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Recently Published

Thanks to all of YOU for being amazing industry colleagues and helping me with my stories. Here are a few that published recently:

• CleanPlates: 5 Drinks High In Magnesium

• CleanPlates: 7 Omega Rich Foods To Add To Your Diet

• Little Things: 7 Cozy Scents and Diffusers for Winter (had a lot more, but many got cut. Hate when that happens!)

• Mom.com: The Best Kids’ Multivitamins for Cold and Flu Season

• CafeMom: 8 Cozy Winter Sweaters Under $50

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NewZ

• Succession returns on March 26 and I’m counting down the days to reunite with Kieran Culkin, who I pretend is my legit BFF. Emmy-winning HBO Original drama series will center around Lukas Matsson, played by Alexander Skarsgård, a tech visionary who now owns the media conglomerate Waystar Royco. Watch the trailer here.

• SNL announced that Pedro Pascal will be hosting on February 4. I want to make a joke about how I have no idea who he is, but I really think the joke is on me. Coldplay is musical guest.

• Anna “Delvey” Sorokin, the focus of “Inventing Anna,” now has a series of her own. It’s proof that entertainment television will stop at quite literally nothing. The reality show called “Delvey’s Dinner Club” films in her apartment because HELLO she’s on house arrest. You can’t make this shit up. It’s REALITY [tv].

• Marc Maron debuts his comedy special on HBO Saturday, February 11 at 10pm. With all the cancel culture, I’m surprised comedians are even going out there anymore with original content. They’re the real heroes.

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FunnieZ

Baby, this is what you came for.

Alan @Cookies_Cowpies

Never forget the decimal point when ordering a 7.5mm Drill bit

Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker

can anyone summarize the m&m drama for me, i've been too busy living my life and having a normal brain

Ma&Ya’s @mmschocolate

A message from M&M'S. https://t.co/EMucEBTd9o

Ron Iver @ronnui_

Guy who created red wine: You gotta try this stuff out, it'll stain anything. Impossible to get out. His friend: why did- Guy who created wine: and you drink it out of a small bowl. On a glass stick.

fucked up looking food @fuckedupfoods

de-boned chicken with breadcrumb crust and tomato reduction

George Takei @GeorgeTakei

Plot twist: George Santos is actually Sasha Baron Cohen, and we are all in his next movie now.

Sam Mintz @samjmintz

AP style for numbers is so awkward. I'm out here writing "five to 10 years" and I hate it

Cara Alwill @ChampagneDiet

Can everyone stop putting their makeup on while doing a TikTok and just talk into the camera like a normal person? 😂

Roshan Patel @roshanpateI

I was rejected by Apple. I was rejected by Amazon. I was rejected by Facebook. I was 28 years old and broke. I decided to start my own startup. Now I’m 30 years old and broke.

Meech @MediumSizeMeech

This is so funny to me because in the comments on the OG TikTok the kids are like “why didn’t she just Google what Kelly looked like?” — hey babe, people were still PRINTING OUT driving directions in this era. LEARN YOUR HISTORY!!!

NYTimes Vows @NYTvows

"I married my best friend," gushed the bride, standing next to 6 women who spent $8K apiece to support & celebrate her in that life event.

“Have a great weekend!!!”

x

Z.